'Grip on reality is slight as ever'
Sue Carroll
- Mirror.com.UK
Well she was never going to go quietly, was she? In the mother of all rants Heather erupted like a volcano spewing fire and brimstone outside the High Court.
Sir Paul made a dignified exit leaving his ex to continue her impersonation of a demented fishwife.
Barely pausing for breath in a relentless "me, me, me" diatribe she reminded us - in case we'd forgotten - that despite being a litigator, mother and campaigner she was also a Wronged Woman made to fight for her multi-million divorce payout.
Most women having just pocketed £24.3million from a man they'd been married to for a mere four years, might have beaten a hasty retreat while quietly thanking the money god for this good fortune. But no.
Heather, blissfully unaware her words would be greeted by a sniggering nation, happily admitted she had been up for another £100million.
Not for herself, you understand, but for charity - neatly casting her ex-husband as the mean villain who'd just deprived the world's starving children of vegetarian sausages.
This while exonerating herself from accusations of being a gold-digger who has finally got what she always wanted. As if.
"As everyone knows," Heather explained, "I've been doing charity work for 20 years now." Really? Two decades ago she was smearing baby oil on the back of the male porn star posing next to her in erotic shots for a 1988 German sex manual. Ho hum.
Never mind, Heather's grip on reality has always been slight. But she's ploughed on, never letting the facts of a sordid previous existence get in the way of her stories.
"Paul knows me," she would insist, "He trusts me. He knows my life." He sure does now.
This divorce has been like an irritating soap opera but now it's gone I suspect we'll miss the egos, bile and rare moments of unintentional humour as Heather pontificates about her general greatness on GMTV.
Meanwhile I predict she'll sail gloriously through the coming years in the self-deluded belief she has a saintly mission to rid the planet of steak pies, cow's milk and Sir Paul's money. That bit I think she'll do rather well. But please God let her do it quietly.
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